The Narcissist's Mother
A. The Loved Enemies - an Introduction
An oft-overlooked fact is that the child is not sure that it exists. It avidly absorbs cues from its human environment. "Am I present?", "Am I separate?", "Can I be noticed?" these are the questions that compete in his mind with his need to merge, to become a part of his caregivers. Granted, the infant (ages 0 to 2) does not engage in a verbal formulation of these "thoughts" (which are part cognitive, part instinctual). This nagging uncertainty is more akin to a discomfort, like being thirsty or wet. The infant is torn between its need to differentiate and distinguish its SELF - and its no less urgent need to assimilate and integrate by being assimilated and integrated.
H. Kohut :
"Just as we know, from the point of view of the physiologist, that a child needs......
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